The Guilt Continues
by WeatherWriter
Summary: Mike is recovering, but Ryan still blames himself for what happened.


Thanks so much for the positive feedback! There seriously needs to be more Ryan/Mike moments on the show. I am running out of ideas! Anywhere, here is another fic from Ryan's point of view. This is set after my previous fic, "Nightmares."

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

I have been going to the hospital every day to visit Mike. I still feel that this is all my fault. Mike is going to make a full recovery, but I still feel uneasy.

I walk into his room. He looks a little better than he did the past few days. The gash on his forehead along with the cuts and bruises are healing nicely.

"Hey," he says, giving me a half smile.

"Hi. How are you feeling?" I ask.

"A little better. I can digest my food now."

"That's a good sign."

"The doctor wants me to do some more walking today," he says.

He doesn't have much enthusiasm in his voice. It's still a struggle for him to get out of bed, let alone walk.

"You have to keep working at it, buddy," I remind him. "You need to get your strength up."

Although it makes me feel uneasy when I see Mike struggle with simple, everyday tasks, I know that he needs to do them. He won't recover until he builds his strength up. I try my best to encourage him.

"I will walk with you," I tell him.

"Can we go now?" he asks.

"Sure. That way, you'll be back in time for lunch."

I help Mike get out of bed. I keep my hand on his lower back as he sits up. He grunts in pain.

"You're doing great," I encourage him.

I take Mike's hands, and help him stand up. He grips my hands hard as he stumbles forward.

"I've got you. I won't let you fall."

Mike takes a deep breath, and stands up straight. I let go of his hands. He gets his walker, and begins walking toward the exit of his room. He moves slowly, he's making progress. I walk close beside him. We make our way to the rehabilitation unit of the hospital. It has a track where patients can walk.

"So, what was your first meal you digested?" I ask him, trying to make conversation.

"A peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

"It's better than nothing," I say.

"Hopefully I will be able to keep lunch down."

"Did you keep breakfast down?"

"What I ate of it, yes. The eggs were so rubbery and tasteless, so I didn't eat those."

"Hospital food isn't the best," I say, giving Mike a smile.

He smiles back. He even chuckles a little. I can tell that hurt because he grips the handles of his walker.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's cool," he replies. "I know you were just trying to lighten the mood."

It wasn't cool to me. Every time I see Mike hurting, I hurt, too. The feeling of guilt consumes me. I look at the ground.

"Really, Ryan. Don't worry about it," he says.

"Ok," I reply.

Truthfully, I wasn't ok with that. If I would have gone to the hotel with Mike, none of this would have happened. He wouldn't be struggling with every step he takes. He used to walk with such spring in his step. He was carefree. Now, he is broken, suffering nightmares, and walking slowly. All because of me.

We walk for about a half an hour. That is all Mike can handle for now.

"You did great," I tell him.

"I wouldn't have been able to do it without you," he replies.

After he puts his walker back, he walks over to me. He extends his arms. I gently wrap my arms around his shoulders.

"This isn't your fault, Ryan," he says quietly.

"I know," I whisper back, even though I don't believe it.

"You came to my rescue, and that's what matters."

"I still shouldn't have let you go alone."

"I thought I knew what I was doing," he says. "But it's over and done with."

We stay in our embrace for a few moments longer, then Mike pulls back.

"Thanks for coming in today," he says.

"No problem," I reply. "I'll let you get lunch and rest."

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I'll try my best to stop by after work."

"See you around," he says, giving me a half smile.

I walk out of his room. I feel slightly better, but part of me still blames myself for what happened. But as long as Mike's ok, I'm ok.

Hope you enjoyed it! I have an idea for another fic, so stay tuned!


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